


As the French would say "Poggers"

by spikeylegos (legos)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Again I am terrible at writing, Bad Writing, DO NOT TRUST MY GRAMMAR!!!, M/M, Maybe I'll post translations, Molossia is late, Not very graphic injuries however, Second Date, Simpborga, There's some spanish in here, This is only for funsies do not take it seriously, Tree Climbing, mentions of small injuries, please do not post in your cringe compilations i will cry, shitpost, silly stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:27:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29482929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legos/pseuds/spikeylegos
Summary: In which Seborga fails to turn into Spider-man
Relationships: Molossia/Seborga (Hetalia)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3





	As the French would say "Poggers"

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer again: This is what I wrote when I was bored, so it probably sucks. This adds more flavor to the bad writing, trust me

There was a slight breeze in the air as Seborga was walking through a park. It was cool enough to make him shiver but he was warmed up by the sun. It was a very sunny day. The nice kind though, where you don’t feel like you're being burned alive. Seborga was leaning onto a tree that provided very nice shade. It was off a path. He was waiting for a very special someone so they could go to the small fair that was happening in the park. He could see a ferris wheel in the distance, probably the highest building the fair had. Who was the special someone however? Molossia, of course! This would count as their second date!  


Seborga felt his face warm. They made it to the second date, how fun. And the thought of making Molossia smile like he did on their first date made his face warmer. He smiled softly. Imagine seeing Seborga in this state, a dude standing under the tree smiling stupidly. Eyes staring into space, thinking about something. You’d think he’s high or something but he is just thinking about a person that was very special to him. He is down that bad. It did not matter because quién somos nosotros a juzgar*? He was just a man in love, nothing out of the ordinary. He checked his phone a lot, making sure not to miss a message from Molossia.  


As someone would, he wanted to greet Molossia in a nice way when he arrived. How would he accomplish that? By jumpscaring him from a tree obviously. The same jump scare tactic that he had executed in front of Sealand and Wy when he had first met them. Very interesting greeting and it fully captured the victims attention, 10/10. He checked his phone, with the last message sent from his *long list of endearing terms* .He said he would be there in 5 minutes, asking where he should meet up with Seborga. He replied, describing the signs pointing to the path that lead to the fair at the entrance of the park. After that, he set out to find the perfect tree to climb.  


Most of the trees were unusable for tree climbing, some having nothing to grip on or some being a bit too tall for Seborga’s taste. He became the tree connoisseur in only a little while, with a PHD and everything. He eventually settled for a tree that was slightly in the middle but was more in the beginning of the path. It was very tall with a lot of branches. Some branches hung lower but even those were out of reach for a 5’9 Seborga. He figured he could pull himself up if he jumped. 6th period gym class taught him well.  


Seborga jumped up to try to pull himself up, only to fail. He fell onto the soft ground, his shirt pulled up due to it clinging to the bark of the tree. He felt stinging in his hands, they had gotten scratched by the rough bark of the tree. He stood up and pulled down his shirt, trying again to jump up but to no avail. This must be how Molossia feels when trying to grab things, he was short after all. 5’6 must be tough to deal with. No worries because Seborga would now be there to grab things for him, like a scene from a cliche romance show. That would be a dream. His phone buzzed, Molossia was now in the parking lot of the park(i literally suck at english). Seborga felt his adrenaline pump because he really wanted to climb this tree and jumpscare Molossia. Like a good boyfriend should, well they weren’t exactly dating-dating but Seborga really liked that idea of being Molossia’s boyfriend. It’s a free country, do what you want amirite.  


He was thinking of all the fun they would have at the fair while continuously failing to get onto the branch. His hands were scratched, his underarms were scratched, he even scratched his face. Dumb stupid baby wanting to impress his date. Seborga did manage to pull himself up, in return for his energy. He was very high up, but he was practically an expert at this jumpscare that he was not worried about falling off. He positioned himself on a branch that was closest to the path. He would hang upside down and that was practically it. Now all he had to do was wait :). However, he did not really have an after thought of how he would get back up. He was strong enough to pull himself back up, he was a big boy. Seborga checked his phone, wanting to message Molossia but he heard some footsteps. They were a bit muffled due to the soft ground of the path but Seborga could still hear them. Imagine just walking to a fair and seeing some random guy in a tree. And that is what exactly happened. It was just one person, who probably wouldn’t have noticed him in the tree if they did not look up from their phone.  


“*Quien eres tu,” The person said, weirded out as they continued to walk. Seborga saw them take their phone out and call someone. They talked in Spanish and Seborga had a feeling they were talking about him. He could understand some bits since he knew Italian. Spanish and Italian were sorta similar, not really. That was very embarrassing for Seborga. He hoped that Molossia would hurry the fuck up because he did not think that he could handle being gossiped about in spanish. It sounded very judge-y. He sat there on the tree, waiting, feeling like a dumbass, and looking like a dumbass. Until there were footsteps again! And it was Molossia this time! LETS GOOO! Molossia was looking at something on his phone, completely clueless. As soon as he was at a good distance from the branch, Seborga dropped down. He almost fell off due to the sudden force put on his legs but he managed to not fall.  


“Hi!” Seborga said cheerfully.(smack cam)

**Author's Note:**

> I will be posting chapter two as soon as I write it  
> tbh this could have been one chapter but I have decided to switch things up  
> shout out to the molseb discord, you guys are cool
> 
> Translations(Unless you already went to Google Translate)  
> *1 "who are we to judge?"  
> *2 "Who are you?"


End file.
